Booty Got Blow

We usually talk about “little white lies” on this site, but today we’ll be talking about little white lines! This photo of a news story has been around awhile but I still think it’s hilarious. This week I saw it on the wall of a popular page on Facebook and I remembered that when it first went viral, I was moved to write something totally mindless and fun. The song “Low” by Flo Rida was popular at the time so the inspiration came easily. (remember shawty having the “apple bottom jeans… boots with the FUUUURRRRRRR”.. such a classic, right?  http://www.metacafe.com/watch/wm-A10302B00004706061/flo_rida_low_official_music_video/)

If you read the last blog post, The Mother Load , you know that I started a new job. It’s keeping me very busy and away from writing as much. (boooooo… or hooray if you think I suck) So until I have more time, allow me to post a fun blog – or what I call a “flog”, which is probably what some of you will want to do to me after you read this.

Last year when a friend posted this story to my wall on Facebook, he did so with a challenge:  “I bet you can’t rewrite a popular song about this and include a line about crack being like an enema”… oh YEAH??!! I bet I can.

Blow (to the tune of “Low” by Flo Rida)

Dude had pants-on-the-ground jeans (jeans)
Stash of pow-der (pow-der)
The po-po started lookin’ at that sir
He ducked down low (ducked down low)
Next thing u kno
Booty got blow blow blow blow blow blow blow blow
Shoulda worn some sweat pants
With the really deep pock-ets (deep pock-ets)
He would not have had to stick junk up his ass
He ducked down low (ducked down low)
Next thing u kno
Booty got blow blow blow blow blow blow blow blow

I ain’t never seen somethin that’ll make me go
Like this stuff that I put in my hole
I was just trying to escape from the po po
I ‘z ‘fraid they’d take my stash of snow
Not sexual
It was necessary, yo
It’s like Correctol
Didn’t know crack was like an enema, whoa
Felt it when I hid all of my blow
Ain’t the same when that sh*t makes you go
There is pain in protectin’ your snow
Next time I put it elsewhere fo sho
Ima got big problem down below
And I left my I-mo-dium at home
So much crack in my crack, can’t take no mo
Please coppers can you just help out a bro?

Dude had pants-on-the-ground jeans (jeans)
Stash of pow-der (pow-der)
The po-po started lookin’ at that sir
He ducked down low (ducked down low)
Next thing u kno
Booty got blow blow blow blow blow blow blow blow
Shoulda worn some sweat pants
With the really deep pock-ets (deep pock-ets)
He would not have had to stick junk up his ass
He ducked down low (ducked down low)
Next thing u kno
Booty got blow blow blow blow blow blow blow blow

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4 responses

  1. Oh I am laughing and crying thank you for this, you have made my day. I can’t imagine how clever you have to be to write that! My first thought on seeing the pic was my god, how big was his ass crack? lol xxx

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