The title of this blog is based on a very popular status update posted on the Little White Lion Facebook page. The concept resonated with a lot of peeps and I received some email about it. Everything from, “you are a trophy no matter what”, to “what the hell IS a trophy wife”, to “my asshole husband doesn’t deserve a piece of rusted metal, let alone a trophy”… you get the idea. By posting that I was not trying to diss myself but rather make fun of myself because, unlike a “trophy wife”, I am certainly not perfect.
While I am a “recovering perfectionist” (translation: I gave up on that crap), I do try my best to keep me, the house and everything and everyone in it, in order. Despite my efforts, overall I remain a domestic mess. When that coil thingie in my oven broke, I wanted to throw a party! Not because I actually ever use my oven, but because all the pressure was off to even try to use it. But it gets worse. Recently, my kids were at my mother-in-law’s house and saw her ironing board sitting out in her laundry room. They asked me what it was!! (OOPS ..oh aren’t they just precious playing a joke like that, ha ha haaaaa….meh) So, you get the picture.
I don’t beat myself up too much about my failures as a domestic goddess. I believe in going with what you’re good at and capitalizing on it as best you can. We all have our talents that make each of us the bomb diggity. It’s rewarding to put your focus here and own it! At the very least, be proud of your strengths and feel good about the little things that set you apart from others.
This morning, one of my kids asked me, “do you think I’m pretty?” I told her yes but said the better question was, “do YOU think you’re pretty?” In addition to recognizing their gifts, I’m trying to teach my girls to be their best affirmers. If you depend on others to pump your ego, let’s face it, you’re screwed. One day I will share with my daughters my personal daily affirmation which is a twist on the Stuart Smalley classic from Saturday Night Live:
“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me…but if you don’t like me, you can kiss my ass!”
For now, I’ll settle for sharing a short ditty that is about my ass, all in the spirit of being your own #1 champion. A few years ago, I discovered a beautiful thing called a velour track suit. Not cotton, not spandex.. velour. Something about this fabric magically transforms my mediocre ass into something more spectacular. And who doesn’t like that, baby?! Because of this, I went out and bought 6 track suits; same brand, same cut, different colors but all velour. A few of my friends made fun of the fact that I chose velour (mixed with a little elASStic as I like to call it because it’s earned the title)… Why not cotton? Well velour is cotton, but more luscious. I may not be the perfect “trophy wife” but dammit, I can rock a velour track suit! Here is my tribute.
“Just Like Cotton” – to the tune of “Just Like Heaven” by The Cure
Show me, show me, show me
Your boo-ty magic
80% cotton weave
She said
Track pants made in China
She said
They turn this mom into a MILF
Show me that elASStic
And I promise you
I promise that, my bum will a-maze you
My bum will a-maze you
Ve-lour
Soft and fuzzy
Ve-lour
Wash with colors only
Ve-lour
Just like cotton
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